What worked well for me was the dawning realisation of that all those "bzzzddttts" were about, and the significance of the grass and the line to reach it. The inversion of what "touching grass" means in this cullture is the kind of twist that I really love.
The emotional reality of feeling like the world is entirely “owned” made this future easy to picture. I think that it could be worth it if you chose to expand this. I’d be interested to know more about day to day life and how the revolution got off the ground.
I like that, how the revolution got started would be an interesting story. I hadn’t really thought about where to go with this next. This whole revolution formed without then MC even being aware. So day to day life would be mixed with this group of people fomenting a secret rebellion.
I’m all for darkly funny 😂. It’s like how terrific evolved from “terror inducing” to “great thing”.
I was hoping this was that story we had talked about! Dammnnnnnnn that was painful at first and then rad! Thanks for giving it a chaotic, revolutionary twist. Also great job with the voice memo. Who knew!?
What worked well for me was the dawning realisation of that all those "bzzzddttts" were about, and the significance of the grass and the line to reach it. The inversion of what "touching grass" means in this cullture is the kind of twist that I really love.
Thanks! I hoped the slow burn and slow realization would build dread, and that the end would relieve it. Glad the twist resonated.
The emotional reality of feeling like the world is entirely “owned” made this future easy to picture. I think that it could be worth it if you chose to expand this. I’d be interested to know more about day to day life and how the revolution got off the ground.
Also touch grass turning into kys is darkly funny
I like that, how the revolution got started would be an interesting story. I hadn’t really thought about where to go with this next. This whole revolution formed without then MC even being aware. So day to day life would be mixed with this group of people fomenting a secret rebellion.
I’m all for darkly funny 😂. It’s like how terrific evolved from “terror inducing” to “great thing”.
Thanks for reading and the feedback!
Fascinating and provocative!
Thanks!
I was hoping this was that story we had talked about! Dammnnnnnnn that was painful at first and then rad! Thanks for giving it a chaotic, revolutionary twist. Also great job with the voice memo. Who knew!?
I'm a fan. 10/10.
I seem to have a theme of stories that start painful then flip 😅
Thanks, fan!
I am a fan!
Thanks for reading, Tim. They’re working on humanoid robots and already starting to sell them.
Technology advancing is great, and could be used to relieve humans of dangerous, back breaking, or boring work and usher in a new Renaissance.
If the leaders doing so actually wanted that. In nefarious hands, it can be used to further subjugate and divide.
All technology is a tool and it’s the people behind the trigger that choose to make it harmful or helpful.
(I didn’t expect to go further into philosophy in this reply 😂)