Really appreciate this open and personalized discussion. These things matter. They matter a lot. As do people like you. In solidarity with you, good sir!
I love this. I am a late-diagnosed neurodivergent, late-to-the-party bisexual woman (who mainly presents as cisgender). But right now, as far as outward looks go, I’m embracing my “I’ll present however I want to” era. 😅
There are parts of the LGBTQ+ community I will never understand first-hand. But I will not tolerate hate. I am open to being corrected when I make mistakes. I aim to give everyone the acceptance I never had—and still don't have in some circles of my “real life”.
Imposter syndrome is real for me, after a lifetime of masking. And the fact that I am married to a heterosexual, cisgender white guy. But I told my therapist once, the reason I love him goes beyond gender. He’s one of the only people who accepts me, the only truly safe person for me. And maybe that’s co-dependance. *shrugs* but oh, well.
It occurred to me as I was editing my novel: When I write about love, I’m really writing about safety. About vulnerability. Being truly seen and not dismissed. Because deep down, that’s what I crave.
Dear gods, look at the novelette I just left you. 😂 But all this to say, thank you for your acceptance, understanding, and willingness to learn and empathize.
This is so well put. I'm not across the details of what happened but I don't have to be to see glimpses of the hate even today. From comments deriding skin color and culture to gender and sexuality.
There's too much hate and often it's met with more hate. It feeds the furnace until the only thing you see is the hate. How is a generation going to grow if all they see is this? It's tiring and I'm tired.
You're a kind soul. As a proud gay man, I was taken aback when I joined Substack and saw all the anti-trans rhetoric from members of the LGBTQ+ community. I was ignorant, but there's a whole movement to divorce the LGB from the TQ+. I still can't quite believe this hate is coming from my community.
The constants from our community have traditionally (if tradition can even be considered here) been, amongst other things, acceptance, as this post suggests, liberation, and love of ourselves and those different than we are. We don't win when we are divisive or when we villainize members of our community or the movement we've worked so hard to create.
It's not the fault of trans people, or tq+ people our community is under attack. It's the fault of Trump and his supporters, people who support values that seek to subjugate us. And reaching out to MAGA seems damn near impossible, so getting them to be for us, not sure that's ever going to happen. But, Pete Buttigieg said this, Trump is not as popular as he would have us believe. Trump's values are abusive and oppressive. The man cut off funding to suicidal LGBTQ+ youth when he stopped federal funding for The Trevor Project's suicide prevention hotline. It doesn't get more abusive than to attack vulnerable, suicidal youth. Yes, Trump won the presidency, but what Trump supports is so often un-American. Americans aren't so stupid as to ignore what' happening around the country. Times shift, and unfortunately right now, we are in the thick of some nasty Trumping.
Yet, LGBTQ+ people are not as hated as we sometimes think. And if we feel so hated, we need to look within ourselves and process/address some of these feelings as best we can. It's not our fault we feel hated, but whatever we feel doesn't mean just turn around and hate someone else. I hope we can all channel our energy in a more loving way for 2026.
Sorry for the long comment here, but you got me thinking. I might just go post about it on my Substack now. Thanks for the message on acceptance. Happy New Year.
Freedom of speech, not freedom from consequences. Well said.
I am so proud to call you my friend. I have not seen anyone address this issue with all of its complexities while also setting a clear boundary against hate. There is no gray area. This is exactly the way privilege should be used.
I want you to know this went straight to my heart and was exactly what I needed to hear because there are still people who tolerate hate (or think we can somehow cure it) still enjoying our company and the writing in the fiction community and it pains me every day to have to share this space with them.
You have said exactly what needs to be said and I will not stop until this gets read far and wide in the community and people start to reflect on their actions and their tolerance. You make this community a better place.
Well said, Ed, and I'm right there with you. That whole situation sucked, and I still miss Birdie.
Thanks, Walt. I didn't know Birdie well, but I can feel the void left behind when I come across a post or comment and when people tell me about her.
I miss Birdie, too 😭
Really appreciate this open and personalized discussion. These things matter. They matter a lot. As do people like you. In solidarity with you, good sir!
Thank you, Gregory!
Great message for the new year 🩷
Happy New Year, Happy!
Ed New Year, Ed!
I love this. I am a late-diagnosed neurodivergent, late-to-the-party bisexual woman (who mainly presents as cisgender). But right now, as far as outward looks go, I’m embracing my “I’ll present however I want to” era. 😅
There are parts of the LGBTQ+ community I will never understand first-hand. But I will not tolerate hate. I am open to being corrected when I make mistakes. I aim to give everyone the acceptance I never had—and still don't have in some circles of my “real life”.
Imposter syndrome is real for me, after a lifetime of masking. And the fact that I am married to a heterosexual, cisgender white guy. But I told my therapist once, the reason I love him goes beyond gender. He’s one of the only people who accepts me, the only truly safe person for me. And maybe that’s co-dependance. *shrugs* but oh, well.
It occurred to me as I was editing my novel: When I write about love, I’m really writing about safety. About vulnerability. Being truly seen and not dismissed. Because deep down, that’s what I crave.
Dear gods, look at the novelette I just left you. 😂 But all this to say, thank you for your acceptance, understanding, and willingness to learn and empathize.
We need more guys like you in the world.
Thanks for the novelette 😁. And, thanks for standing with me. Love has many forms. Safety and being seen are great expressions of it.
This is so well put. I'm not across the details of what happened but I don't have to be to see glimpses of the hate even today. From comments deriding skin color and culture to gender and sexuality.
There's too much hate and often it's met with more hate. It feeds the furnace until the only thing you see is the hate. How is a generation going to grow if all they see is this? It's tiring and I'm tired.
You're a kind soul. As a proud gay man, I was taken aback when I joined Substack and saw all the anti-trans rhetoric from members of the LGBTQ+ community. I was ignorant, but there's a whole movement to divorce the LGB from the TQ+. I still can't quite believe this hate is coming from my community.
The constants from our community have traditionally (if tradition can even be considered here) been, amongst other things, acceptance, as this post suggests, liberation, and love of ourselves and those different than we are. We don't win when we are divisive or when we villainize members of our community or the movement we've worked so hard to create.
It's not the fault of trans people, or tq+ people our community is under attack. It's the fault of Trump and his supporters, people who support values that seek to subjugate us. And reaching out to MAGA seems damn near impossible, so getting them to be for us, not sure that's ever going to happen. But, Pete Buttigieg said this, Trump is not as popular as he would have us believe. Trump's values are abusive and oppressive. The man cut off funding to suicidal LGBTQ+ youth when he stopped federal funding for The Trevor Project's suicide prevention hotline. It doesn't get more abusive than to attack vulnerable, suicidal youth. Yes, Trump won the presidency, but what Trump supports is so often un-American. Americans aren't so stupid as to ignore what' happening around the country. Times shift, and unfortunately right now, we are in the thick of some nasty Trumping.
Yet, LGBTQ+ people are not as hated as we sometimes think. And if we feel so hated, we need to look within ourselves and process/address some of these feelings as best we can. It's not our fault we feel hated, but whatever we feel doesn't mean just turn around and hate someone else. I hope we can all channel our energy in a more loving way for 2026.
Sorry for the long comment here, but you got me thinking. I might just go post about it on my Substack now. Thanks for the message on acceptance. Happy New Year.
Freedom of speech, not freedom from consequences. Well said.
I am so proud to call you my friend. I have not seen anyone address this issue with all of its complexities while also setting a clear boundary against hate. There is no gray area. This is exactly the way privilege should be used.
I want you to know this went straight to my heart and was exactly what I needed to hear because there are still people who tolerate hate (or think we can somehow cure it) still enjoying our company and the writing in the fiction community and it pains me every day to have to share this space with them.
You have said exactly what needs to be said and I will not stop until this gets read far and wide in the community and people start to reflect on their actions and their tolerance. You make this community a better place.